- Several Probably Killed In Shooting, Lazy Police Report Confirms
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theonionfeed- January 7th, 10:00
AKRON, MI—According to a hastily written police report, anywhere from several to half a dozen people were killed at some point Monday in...
- Would-Be Bomber's Visa Revoked
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- theonionfeed
- January 7th, 9:30
The State Department announced Tuesday that it has revoked the visa of Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the man who tried to blow up a...
- Clint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed Man
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- theonionfeed
- January 7th, 9:00
LOS ANGELES—Five-time Academy Award winner and Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood attended a press junket Tuesday to promote his new film Invictus, the latest project in the director's long line of failed attempts to impress Wheeling, WV resident Daryl Lorrimer.
- Everybody's a Hipster to Somebody
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weaklingrecords- January 7th, 9:22
I started this mix about 6 months ago now, and then it kept getting pushed aside with other things and such. So I revisited it recently and threw a few other songs onto it just to fill it out a bit. I promise that none of these selections are even the slightest bit ironic.
Everybody's a Hipster to Somebody- It Doesn't Have to Be Beautiful, Unless It's Beatiful - Slow Club *
- Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship
- Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye
- Grounds for Divorce - Elbow
- Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
- Kids - MGMT
- Paris is Burning - St. Vincent
- Sepian Bounce - Charlie Parker
- You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II) - Sunset Rubdown
- Farewell to the Fairground - White Lies
- Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear
- The Kissaway - Mates of State
- The Cold, The Dark & The Silence - Sea Wolf
- Let the Moon Get Into It - Mike Doughty
- Wrecking Ball - Gillian Welch
- The Backseat - The Gaslight Anthem
- One Day Like This - Elbow **
* Possibly my favorite song of 2009, introduced to me bymisunderstruck
** I usually try to avoid cramming two or more songs by the same artist onto a mix, but I couldn't decide between these two and I have alternately removed one or the other, only to put both back on, cd mix etiquette be damned.
( Oh, you want some videos? Hellz yeah you do! )
- Happy Fun Ball: Taunted
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- weaklingrecords
- January 6th, 22:08
Bring your weak-ass sh*t again, meat!...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM NOON THURSDAY
I'm not even sure we would consider this a serious snow event here in MI, other than driving in it will be more hazardous than usual. My only real concern is that Drew's school might be closed on Friday...more time for us to go sledding, I guess!
TO 4 AM EST FRIDAY...
HAZARDOUS WEATHER...
* SNOW WILL DEVELOP AROUND NOON THURSDAY AND CONTINUE THROUGH
MUCH OF THURSDAY NIGHT.
* SNOW RATES OF A HALF INCH TO AN INCH PER HOUR MAY OCCUR AT
TIMES.
* STORM TOTALS OF 4 TO 6 INCHES WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS
ARE POSSIBLE.
- How Did We Embarrass Ourselves At The Office Party?
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- theonionfeed
- January 6th, 12:00
- In Focus: Man Braves Freezing Weather To Cross Parking Lot
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- theonionfeed
- January 6th, 11:59
LANCASTER, PA—With night coming and temperatures dropping, Louis Bergstrom was forced to leave his wife at the supermarket entrance and set out alone for the car.
- Hangover Cures
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- theonionfeed
- January 6th, 11:09
The holidays are a traditional time for overindulgence in alcohol. Here are some of the more common hangover cures:Take...
- Attractive Woman, Wealthy Man Somehow Making It Work
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- theonionfeed
- January 6th, 10:04
GREENWICH, CT—Despite their disparate backgrounds, lack of mutual interests, and seemingly insurmountable gap in age, former Miss Kentucky...
- Beatty Bedded 12,775 Women, Book Says
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- theonionfeed
- January 6th, 9:39
According to a biography by Peter Biskind, actor Warren Beatty has had sex with approximately 12,775 women in the past 52 years. What do you...
- Rob Sheridan posts about AVOTT: The Gift on nin.com
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- theninhotline
- January 6th, 4:14
Rob Sheridan posted an update to nin.com today regarding the release of TOIOU's AVOTT: The Gift. From nin.com - "Our 2008 Lights In The Sky tour was an ambitious multimedia production on a scale well beyond anything we'd ever attempted before. Everyone involved was extremely proud of how it came together, and we were devastated when, for a variety of reasons, we were unable to capture it professio [cont...]
- [audio] Area Bass Player Fellated
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 20:05
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
- Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 17:59
WASHINGTON—"The vast majority of U.S. citizens are simply not receiving the physical punishment they deserve," said Masochism Bureau chief Geoff Knowlton, who was permitted by his mistress Alexandria to meet with reporters despite being unfit for anything besides groveling at her boot heels.
- In Focus: New Mobile-Device Purchase Makes Asshole More Versatile
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 12:08
NEW YORK—The new BlackBerry 8703c has allowed total shithead Robert McClain to assign more work to his assistants while he is gambling in Atlantic City.
- Virgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen Masturbates
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 12:00
News In Photos
- Slideshow: Health Wellness
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- theonionfeed
- January 1st, 14:45
Slideshow
- Opinion: I Have Finally Achieved The Status Of Gamma Male (by Terry Steuben)
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 11:00
Listen up, world. It's been a long, hard road, but here I am, at the top of the heap. Well, not the top, exactly, but pretty darn close....
- Man Unable To Wear Nice Clothes Without Everyone Asking Questions
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- theonionfeed
- January 5th, 10:00
MENASHA, WI—Expressing his growing frustration, IT support technician Chris Brennan, 28, told reporters Monday that he is incapable of...
- Page Summary
-
- theonionfeed — Several Probably Killed In Shooting, Lazy Police Report Confirms
- theonionfeed — Would-Be Bomber's Visa Revoked
- theonionfeed — Clint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed Man
- weaklingrecords — Everybody's a Hipster to Somebody — 3 comments
- alexlady — oh my god — 6 comments
- weaklingrecords — Happy Fun Ball: Taunted
- theonionfeed — How Did We Embarrass Ourselves At The Office Party?
- theonionfeed — In Focus: Man Braves Freezing Weather To Cross Parking Lot
- theonionfeed — Hangover Cures
- theonionfeed — Attractive Woman, Wealthy Man Somehow Making It Work
- theonionfeed — Beatty Bedded 12,775 Women, Book Says
- theninhotline —
Rob Sheridan posts about AVOTT: The Gift on nin.com
- theonionfeed — [audio] Area Bass Player Fellated
- theonionfeed — Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports
- darksheik — Posted using TxtLJ — 1 comment
- theonionfeed — In Focus: New Mobile-Device Purchase Makes Asshole More Versatile
- theonionfeed — Virgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen Masturbates
- theonionfeed — Slideshow: Health Wellness
- theonionfeed — Opinion: I Have Finally Achieved The Status Of Gamma Male (by Terry Steuben)
- theonionfeed — Man Unable To Wear Nice Clothes Without Everyone Asking Questions